My thoughts of Sabastian must cloud my vision because I see him across the field walking to the other side of the school. I look at Reagan again and see he is chatting to the guys and coach.
“I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.” I grab my water and back pack and rush to Sabastian. I am half running, half walking.
He can’t see me and I don’t know why it makes me angry but it does.
“Sabastian.” He turns slowly, his face not showing a slight hint of surprise at seeing me here.
“What do you want?” He slips his hands in his pocket and stands there, not blinking, not even looking at me properly.
“What’s going on with you. Is it about Gina?”
He drops his head, “nothing that concerns you. See you tomorrow.” He turns his back again to me which is not what Sabastian does.
“Sabastian.” I run to him and pull on the back of his suit jacket.
He turns around so fast I almost trip but he grabs a hold of my upper arm.
“Go home Dainy, please just go.” He drops my arm. His face twitches.
“Not until you tell me why you ignoring me!” Wherever I went today he has turned and walked the opposite way. Now, while I might be okay with that on any other day, today is just not that day.
“I’m not in the mood Dainy.” He answers in such a tired way that it hurts me. I frown when he drops his eyes again. Which I find odd as I know Sabastian and Sabastian Delroy never drops his eyes when he talks to me.
And though I know about the fight, I also know that he would not feel guilty about fighting with Reagan. Because Sabastian doesn’t have a guilty conscience. Something else is up and while I tell myself that I shouldn’t care that I shouldn’t feel anything for this man who I once loved. Who left me without so much as a goodbye. A man that forgot about me so fast that it felt as though all our memories were just that- memories.
I know I do, I can’t stop myself. God help me because I feel so much for Sabastian. More than I should.
His eyes that are so familiar still refuses to look at me.
“Why won’t you look at me Sabastian.” I ask him and I know the need in my voice is for me. I want him to see me.
“I can’t Dainy. I just can’t look at you.”
“Do you remember that day in the cabin you told me that the only way to give a person a chance, is to tell them when they hurt you. ”
“Yes, how could I forget.”
“You are hurting me Sabastian by not even looking at me, you are hurting me.”
“But looking at you Dainy it hurts so much worse.” His eyes find mine as the sharp edge of his soft spoken words slay me more than the torture in his gaze.
I run, going as fast as I can. I trip, stumble and catch myself. It is a bleary mess, as the tears that track down my cheeks. The excruciating pain I am in is enough to stop my breathing. Why does he do this? Why does he say the things that he does? Why does it affect me so bad that I crumble.
A few months ago I convinced myself that I hated Sabastian but I know I just hate myself for loving him, for not been able to move past him past us. Even with Reagan, the boy who had me way before Sabastian ever did.
It is no wonder I run to the other side of the school to our secret place behind a forty year old tree.
My knees hit grass and my bag takes a fall. My face goes into my hands and I hail, it’s my cry of shame. A call for a return of the punishment that has become my life.
Hands wrap around my knees, cradling me in. A familiar scent reminding me of memorable times. I bang at his chest as I also breathe the deep scent that is his. The one scent I know for certain can’t break my heart this bad.
“I got you Dainy, it’s gonna be alright. I’m here.”
“Aiden, it hurts so bad. Why me.”
“He’s hurting too, you both gonna keep hurting each other like this until you talk it out.”
“I agree.” That voice comes from behind me. I turn my head from my brothers chest to look at Sabastian standing there.
I want to refuse but I know deep down that it is time we finally had that talk that I have dreaded since I saw him a few months back at this very same spot.
“Go with Dainy, I’ll cover with Reagan. Don’t hurt Delroy.” My brother warns him as i get up and grab my bag and kiss my brother on his cheek.
“I parked at the back, this way.” Sabastian says and I follow.
Hey guys… So things ARE heating up with Dainy and Sabastian. There is still a killer on the loose. And the people in Liston Hills aren’t too happy about it. 😊 Find Out what happens in The Final Part of School Me coming soon. 🐮